I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
