So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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