i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
