Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
