I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
