Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
