she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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