It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
