I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
