I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
