So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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