Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
