We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
