So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
