is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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