Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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