called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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