I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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