Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
