Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
