I'm really into asian looking animals
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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