I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
