Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
