if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
