therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
