I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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