I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
