just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
