he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
