She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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