? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
