I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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