he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
