it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
