You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This is the high leading the old right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
