Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
