Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
