I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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