He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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