so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
