Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
