Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to make out with him forever
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
