i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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