i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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