We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
