Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
