I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
