Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
