we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
