Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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