You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
